Away Day 05.08.23 - Golcar United

When the draw for the FA Cup Extra Preliminary Round was made way back when, the first thing I thought once we drew Golcar United away (after searching where it was on Google Maps), was: TRAINS and MALCY ROCK ‘N’ ROLL!

For those that don’t know Malc, he’s a bona fide Trafford legend! He’s lived in Slaithwaite (pronounced Sla-wit, as I was told), for the time I’ve known him but despite that, he has been a Trafford FC regular, both home and away for most of that time. However, due to a recent illness, we haven’t seen as much as Malc as we would’ve liked. So, after learning of Golcar’s close proximity to Sla-wit, the day became as much about catching up with an old friend as anything else.

Sla-wit in conjunction to Golcar

Liam and the YoT had arranged the usual fun bus to take a motley crew to and from the game. A few more arranged to drive and a handful of us decided on the train. Cappy, the captain in such situations, sorted out the time table: first train departing from Urmsterdam at 10:57. With all being well, this would get us to Manchester Piccalilli in good time to catch the 11:35 to Huddersfield where we’d meet Mr Rock ‘N’ Roll for a few beers. Cushty.

Now, as the weather was typically Mancunian on the fine morning of the game, I decided to get the 10:16 train from Flixton rather than walk and get wet, with the aim of getting off in Urmsterdam, and possibly get a quick pint in ‘Spoons where Liam and his clan were sampling a few fruity drinks before meeting my fellow comrades ready for the 10:57.

Waiting for the train

Some of the YoT enjoying 'breakfast'

I boarded the train in Flixton on-time. Quick check of WhatsApp and there’s a message on the supporters group saying, ’10:57 is cancelled old boy.’

What????

I tried calling Herr DireKtor, who didn’t answer. With Umsterdam quickly approaching, I made the call to stay put – worst case scenario would be I’d have a pint or two in town whilst the rest figured out how to get to town. After informing Captain Cappy of the cancellation and the fact I was already on a train, I hung up awaiting further news.

Herr Direktor finally caught up with proceedings once he arrived at Urmston in anticipation of the 10:57's arrival, only to see it was cancelled. I was then left a fairly amusing voice message from a geeky train spotter who was excited to see some rare trains. It turns out all trains are rare these days.

Manchester Oxford Road then Piccalilli then pub. News came in that the other three were going to get the 11:22 from Urmston, which SHOULD allow us enough time to get the 11:58 to Huddersfield. Not too bad considering. Whilst waiting, I was taken a-back by just how mental town is. I was sat in the pub at Piccalilli Station, not even 11 and there were couples on dates, groups dressed in silly outfits, groups dressed in very little outfits, footy groups, lads on stags, men who seem to live there… and me, sat with my £7.15p pint – who probably looked the oddest of all! At those prices, I decided to make this pint last. Robbing bastards! 

Waiting with £7.15p's worth of gold

The fun bus were having better luck (for now) getting there

I checked online and discovered the 11:22 train had now become the 11:36 train due to whatever reason and then it came up that the 11:58 train to Huddersfield was cancelled! (Is this hurting your head as much as it was mine?) Anyway, what felt like hours later, the cavalry finally turned up. Matthias Brown had a back up plan of how we could get there but luckily, the next train was in 15 minutes. Herr Direktor quickly dispensed one of his train beers in the pub whilst Captain Cappy had a very exotic lunch of cous-cous which contained some other fine ingredients.

Matthias Brown's alternative transport

With the train finally boarded, we were lucky to get a seat with a table as the train quickly filled. A passenger and her partner then stopped and asked Matthias where carriage A was. His fine, intellectual response? "It’s either at the front or at the back." Brilliant! The train set off and we were now on route. 33 minutes away from our destination. 33 minutes of Matthias Brown talking about trains or train tracks or train works. After the first couple of bits of useless information, I informed him that every time he talks about it, he had to put £1 in to the supporter’s club. By the time we arrived in Huddersfield, he owed £13! We were informed that the fun bus crew were supping in a fine pub called ‘The Crown’, in Golcar. The chances of us meeting them for a pre-match pint was slim due to our unforeseen lateness.

The fun bus crew at the Crown

We arrived in Huddersfield to a bout of sunshine and a beaming smile from Malcy Rock ‘n’ Roll! After hugs and handshakes, Malcy took over the captain’s arm band from Cappy, and led us to a boozer less than a minute away. Also called ‘The Crown’. A coincidence? Well, it’s a popular name for a pub so I didn’t think too much of it. Cappy’s face lit up once inside: top boozer with a pool table. Like a kid at Christmas, he ran over to set up some pool. Next thing, Trafford’s No.1 hooligan shows his face. How did you get here? You were in Golcar on the fun bus 10 minutes ago. In turns out they too got dropped off in Huddersfield to sample some exquisite beverages. The fact Malc chose The Crown, not knowing the rest of our lot were there, was perfect, especially when there were a few pubs we walked past, right outside of Huddersfield Station.

A game of killer started only for Matthias Brown to walk off just before the end as he realised there was no kitty to be won! So a game of doubles it was; the young apprentices versus the old masters. Bruno Brooko Brookes was on the commentary, having retired from playing pool some years ago having wiped the floor with Sleepy Lee apparently. I popped to the loo, left Brooko in charge of my pint (still 1/3 ful). Returned. “Where’s me pint, Brooko?” I asked in a confused manner.

“Errr, was that yours? The lady came and took it away – I didn’t know.”

Joker.

Anyway, pint refilled and the apprentices (Cappy and myself) outfoxed the old masters (Trafford’s hooligan and Macly Rock ‘n’ Roll) 2 to nothing. 

Malcy and the Rock 'n' Rollers

The fun bus crew’s fun bus turned up to take them to Golcar, so we jumped in a taxi. It’s a good job we had Malc with us, as the place was hard to find – even the taxi driver had no clue. We got there but couldn’t see the fun bus crew, who had set off 5 minutes before us. Beers in hand, we set up behind the goal that had a bit of protection from the rain (which was forecast). The game kicked off and we started singing a few songs and then finally, the fun bus crew showed up. Turns out they went completely the wrong way and ended up 7 miles away!!! The singing got louder. The game itself was one to forget. A replay earned, hopefully we can play like I know we can, and get the job done on Tuesday. A pretty much uneventful journey home in the back of Herr Direktor’s hopeful apprentices’ car and I was home before I knew it. A take-away curry before I passed out in front of the telly.

Football Saturday’s are back. Up the Trafford!