TWO AWAYDAYS ON THE BOUNCE! I hear you say? YES! The Fixture Fairy certainly fired a dipping swerving shot at us for the start of 23-24: After last week’s first ever visit to Golcar near Huddersfield, this week Trafford made a first ever visit to Hednesford, which is just north of the metropolis known as the West Midlands. What Hednesford are doing in the NORTHERN Premier League only the Fixtures Fairy knows. It is such a mad situation that HTFC almost pulled out of all football this summer!
We set off from SV at 11.15 on the dot, the final person to make it onto The Jonas Bus was the leader of The YOT who was still carrying a carton of chips & gravy from last night and looked like he’d had about one hour’s kip. Special mention must go to Jonas the coach driver here, as Herr DireKtor brought the massive “Spent all my money on Trafford FC” flag from the wall at SV, and Jonas cleaned the bird poo off it for us!! Top man!!
Broon was in charge of locating a pub for us to be dropped off at, but before that happened he was very animated at one point during the journey down the M6 about a field full of pigs – “Look! Look! Look at those pigs” he exclaimed as we passed a field full of….. horses….
Another strange thing that happened on the coach was a sheet of Lines getting passed around. Everyone filled it in as usual… only to discover that it was a RIVAL Lines game being run be a certain player who butches for a living! Scandal! Thankfully on the way home it was Sniffer who won the money!
102 minutes after we set off we arrived at “The Cross Keys”. Located about 8 minutes-walk from the ground (uphill!) The Cross Keys used to have Hednesford’s pitch next door to it, and the vault doubled as the dressing rooms! The first round I bought came to 1874…. which is well weird…. Pints of Madri were £4.30, much tastier than the £7.10 paid last week at Manc Piccadilly!
Hednesford’s new stadium is miles better than the old one. Built about 20-odd years ago, it’s very modern, has decent stands on all four sides including a big main stand with TWO bars in it! and can hold up to 6,000 people. The 757 who were there today heard Herr DireKtor unbelievably on the PA system pre-game. Reading out Trafford’s line-up and describing himself as “senior PA announcer at Shawe View” causing Broon to be incandescent with rage!!
The game that followed was one that Trafford should have won but could have lost – We took the lead on 4 minutes when Will Hall (“and after all, you’re my William Hall!”) headed home from Dorney’s free kick, but after having to play the last half an hour with 10-men following Harry Norris’s red card, we held on and a point away from home on the opening day of the season is a good point.
Everyone set up camp in the biggest of the two main stand bars, and Trafford FC’s media team were well fed with some delicious Hednesford chile…… all 24 of them!!! After a few beers and a few sing songs, the HTFC staff were wanting to lock-up and Foxy was wanting us to get on the bus, so we had to leave. The journey home was, as is the tradition, messy….. It involved some very good singers (Belcher; one of the U18’s in the squad) and some absolute rubbish (the pair who did Valerie!) I personally got off the bus at The Nag’s Head, went in for “just the one”, drank another 4, then as I was leaving guess who turned up….? Several members of the TFC team & management, so I had another 3 and then I got thrown out. Of the Nag’s Head. Ridiculous!
I awoke the following morning with my head on the kitchen table, a headache equivalent to a 757 taking off next to my ear, and some cold potato waffles on a plate next to my face.
And guess what – it’s Widnes away in the FA Cup next week!!!
Written by Oskar Wild
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