Double Away Day - Widnes and Runcorn Linnets

DOUBLE BLOG – Two Successive Away Trips – Widnes and Runcorn

THE TOWNS of Widnes and Runcorn are separated by the River Mersey. Trafford visited both sides of the river in early February 2019 – first up was the north bank (Widnes) in the League, then a few days later the south bank (Runcorn) in the League Cup.

Widnes have been playing their home games at Barnton this season, but a few days beforehand the news was leaked that their home fixture v. Trafford would see them return to the Halton Stadium – a 12,000 all-seater arena with a 5G pitch.

We fancied seeing our heroes play in a nice big stadium (although we knew it would be largely empty!) so we hired a funbus and set off for Widnes around 1pm. There was the usual HILARIOUS gags such as phoning the people waiting at the Nag’s Head and telling them we forgot them and we’re already on the M62 (ha ha HA!) and other such frivolous behaviour from people old enough to know better.

The Cricketer’s Arms pub was a mere flick-of-a-cigarette-butt away from the stadium, so we dived in there for a couple of pre-match refreshments and a game of killer darts which Ronaldo MacDonaldo won by stuffing us all over when he hit centre bull with his 2^nd dart.

At the turnstiles I suddenly remembered that my flagbag contained a bottle of Estrella which, inexplicably, I’d forgotten to drink! I was stopped by a steward who promptly searched my bag….. and failed to discover the hidden contraband! Having got away with smuggling booze into a council run stadium which was heavy on the rules and regulations, I thought to myself “it’s gonna be a doddle to get away with all sorts of bad behaviour today……….” Hmmmmmmm.

Once inside the R&R’s took a firm grip, as did the stewards enforcing them. As if the PRICE of the little bottles of Carling wasn’t excessive enough, my attempt to take three of them to my friends in their seats ended with me being sent back down the vomitory stairs by a steward. I had to quickly drink all three myself! Once in our seats (stood up, of course) it became apparent that some members of our party had smuggled their beers to within sight of the pitch – it didn’t take long for the security forces to send them packing also!

Cappy tried to put our SC flags up on the back wall – “Not allowed. Can you spread them over the empty seats please” he was told by a stern looking individual in bright orange and carrying a walky-talky. Cap started spreading them over Block Y…… and was ordered by another Tango Man to move them to Block Z! At this point I was gonna write “and this is before the game even started” but that would be wrong because by the time we’d finished buggering about with the flags, the match was well underway. Trafford’s train-travelling Younger Ultras were in fine voice, which attracted the attention of Steward No.152, and we generally had a good old singsong throughout the first half.

The Mighty Yellows were playing well and created a hatful of chances…… but come half time it was only Declan Rydings-Rydings’ goal that separated the two teams. At this point, Matthaeus Braun fancied a quick burn, and as he was fully prepared to adhere to the “NO SMOKING ANYWHERE IN THE STADIUM YOU PLEBS” rule, he asked a Widnes official could he be let out for a few minutes….… not possible. Even when he offered to pay his £7 admission fee for a second time, he was turned down. “It’s the rules mate” was the explanation, so Brauny spent the second half back in The Cricketer’s with a group of Cockney Groundhoppers.

Trafford won 1-0, a welcome three points – should’ve been 4-0 though, and the consensus amongst the fans was it was NOT your usual non-league experience that we all know and love and spend hours travelling and watching.

A few days later, on a wet & windy Tuesday evening, we made the journey to Runcorn Linnets. This well organised & well-run fan-owned club have managed in the last few years to get a good relationship going with their local council and have ended up with a nice little ground with a modern clubhouse and plenty of scope for future improvements………. Mmmmmm, where could we do with a bit of THAT? The TFC travelling army arrived and found covered stands at a premium and full, so with the driving rain we had to spend the first half squeezed in with the Runcorn fans as The Super Whites attacked the Linnets Stadium’s popular end. This sardine like situation was made more difficult when Mark “get the giant” Darbo stood right in front of us. Deliberately. If my niece Erin hadn’t held me back he would have got a bloody good hiding, the big daft sod!

On the pitch Los Blancos Superios were playing some good stuff despite the very wet conditions. A great cross from the hardworking Liam Ellis was headed home by new signing midfielder Elliot Harrison to put us 1-0 up. Ellis hit the bar with a spectacular volley, but Linnets weren’t out of it and Coops pulled off one or two class saves that Joao Mendes would have been proud of. 1-0 to Trafford at Half Time.

For the second half we headed to the other end of the ground expecting to get soaked, but found a bus-shelter-like structure beside the pitch just down from the corner flag which was as good a vantage point as any. It was certainly colder here, but it kept the rain from us.

Liam Ellis capped a fine game when he sidestepped the Linnets keeper and slotted home for 2-0. Runcorn came back into it with a goal from a corner with about 20 to go, and for a spell it looked like we might have a job on our hands here, but once one of their players was ordered off for a second bookable offence it was Trafford back in charge and Burnzeeeee made the game safe at 3-1 and put Das Uber Weissen into the Semi-final.

We had some good banter singing songs at Lozzy T and Rossi D while they were warming up towards the end of the game (we really DO need a song for Davidson! – bloody hell, we’ve even got one for Joao Mendes!) then after the players had come over to thank us, and we thank them, we stuffed our soaking wet flags in their bags and headed for the warmth of Urmston. Trafford have a potentially season-defining spell of three home games on the bounce now, so COME ON YOU սուպեր սպիտակներs!!!  

Blog written by Francisco Scaramanga (know to his mates as Frank Scank)