Away Day - Kidsgrove

AWAY DAY BLOG – KIDSGROVE (11/09/21) So we had five vehicles travelling to this one: Muggsy drove a 4-seater - with him, Broony, Burkey, Boothy, and Tommo squashed into it like sardines in a tin; Pedro took a 3-seater with Forks, Cockney Crookie, and the Head Boy crushed like in a mosh-pit; Shilling had a 2-seater with him and two of his kids sat on each other’s knees; The Y.O.T. had a 1-seater with two lads – one clinging to the roof… and TC drove a 16-seater minibus with just him in it! Pedro and his passengers stopped 14 times on the way south… on a 1-hour journey! They arrived in Congleton about half-2 then realised we were playing Kidsgrove so after sinking a quick 4-pints, they set off again. Meanwhile, Muggsy’s lot followed the Kidsgrove FC Twitter advice to go to the Clough Hall Pub rather than Kidsgrove’s own bar?! The Clough Hall was a very well kept pub with excellent pints of Guiness. For some reason, Tommo ordered two halves! “I can’t drink a full pint” was his excuse! After having a long and intense discussion about pension schemes, and how Post Office workers of the 1980’s became excellent pool and darts players, Broony struck up a conversation with some Kidsgrove fans who offered to walk us to the ground because although it was only 500 yards away, it was a bit of a challenge finding your way round the houses, down a ginnel, through the woods and across the vast plains of the Serengeti. When we set off with them, Broony went in totally the opposite direction! The ground: nice, tree lined setting. Big clubhouse/bar; decent pies… All the foundations of a good game were in place. As is the usual procedure, we waited for the coin toss then made a dash for the stand behind the goal the Super Yellows would be attacking. We set up the flags and struck up a few songs. There was a stranger amongst us – a young lady who, on questioning, admitted to being Connor Hughes’s girlfriend. Now, Connor is one of the players we really do need to get a song for, so we asked her what she thought – she suggested the old Boney-M ‘Daddy Cool’ disco hit, so we tried it immediately and it worked! What a song writing genius!! We were racking our brains for the Dermot Mee song that was impromptuly sung last Tuesday night v. Wooky, but none of us could remember it! The first half was a bit huff-&-puff from Trafford. The boys weren’t quite on it, a few stray passes and half chances that weren’t hit cleanly. They were 100% effort though, and the general consensus was DC would sort it out at half time. But before that, things got a bit feisty when one of Kidsgrove’s sponsors – on the VIP balcony overlooking the main stand touchline, poured beer over Darius when he came over to take a throw. Totally unacceptable, out of order, and VILE! Forks asked Kidsgrove’s goalie what would HE do if someone threw a pint of beer over him? “I’d probably drink it” was the reply! What a man! Anyway, we took up residence at the other end for the 2nd half and continued to sing the praises of our boys, especially Connor, Connor Hughes… Connor, Connor Huuuuugggheees!! (Can someone, ANYONE, please think of something for James Neild please!) The-Boys-Who-Play-In-Yellow took the lead about 3 minutes into the 2nd half. The ever-lively Belcher Strikes Again, rounding off a great move where 2 or 3 Trafford players feinted to hit it before the blonde bombshell applied the finishing touch! Scenes! Limbs! On the hour, Matty Matty Matty Matty Morgan-on-the-wing came on for the beer soaked Daz, and shortly after that Burkey came on (the young, slim, good at football Burkey). The extra fizz inputted into what was already a fizzing Trafford attack saw us win a penalty with about 10 minutes to go. The Ref sent the Kidsgrove keeper off for the foul that led to the penner, whereupon Kidsgrove lost their heads a bit and it took ages for the kick to be taken while their coach came onto the pitch shouting, and their manager was red-carded also! Matty Morgan, cool as a bottle of Peroni, slotted the spot kick in the corner for 2-0 and that was the game, the three points, and 3rd in the league safe for today. The atmosphere in the bar lounge afterwards was brilliant from a TFC perspective – player and supporters together smiling – not something you see in the European Super League, ha! The beer spiller came over and apologised, explaining that he was looking at his watch at the precise moment that a Trafford player happened to be in that exact spot just below the balcony, and he forgot he was holding a pint pot full of beer (weighing 16 ounces), twisted his wrist and it just fell out… Burkey (the middle-aged, chubby one) was NOT convinced and told him so, but we shook hands, accepted his apology and headed back across the Serengeti and the ginnel to Muggsy’s car. Having offloaded Tommo onto Foxy about half-an-hour before, the journey home was much more comfortable, but we STILL had to make about 4 pits-stops on the way back, including one just around the corner from Boothy’s house! All in all, a mighty fine away trip!