Away Day - Colne

FANS’ AWAY BLOG – COLNE (26th November 2019)

IN ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE “WHO’S COMING, WHO ISN’T?” STORIES……

…...I ended up driving Glinks, Browny, Colin the Plank, Burkey, and meself to Colne….. Can he do it on a cold Tuesday evening in November? Yes he can!

We’d heard from Halli that it took him TWO hours to get to Colne due to road closures and accidents. We then heard that the kick-off was delayed by 15 minutes, which was good as we were due to arrive around 1943 (“72 years ago” © Browny!) Colin told us he hated time travel, and he hated ALL television programmes about time travel. We were glad to have got that one clarified.

It was 1936 when we eventually made it to Holt House, so a good 24 minutes before the rearranged kick-off time, and a good three years before World War 2. There was plenty of time for a quick scoop in the bar before the teams came out and Germany invaded Poland.

The flag bag had been brought by Foxxy and left in the clubhouse. I gave it to Browny….. and he left it in the clubhouse. You just cannot get the staff.

We set ourselves up for the first half at the end of the main stand, where our Mr Chairman was sat (who was very quiet apart from the occasional outburst). It was a thoroughly entertaining first-half with the boys-in-yellow taking the lead after Rossi Davidson burst through TWO Colne defenders who tried their best the sandwich him to the floor (is that a thing you can do? Sandwich someone to the floor?) Anyway, Rossi fed Lewis Salmon and although there was some debate as to whether a Colne defender put the ball into the net, the goal was given to Salmon, cue “Na na na-nah, na na na-nah, heeey-eeey-ey, Lewis Salmon!”

Lewis scored a second, but the Liner flagged for an offside that was blatantly nonsense. Being so close to him meant that we could have a proper, intelligent, adult conversation with the match official – so Browny asked “HAVE YOU GOT SLOW EYEBALLS, LINER??!!??!!!”

Colne were awarded a penalty half-way through the half, so at the half it was 1-1. We guzzled another few halfs of lager then moved to the stand behind the goal that Trafford would be attacking in the 2nd half. This was close to the Colne fans, who you have to say are a fine bunch of human beings. They sing loads of songs (including the brilliant “Burnley Asda’s great!”) and they refrain from singing when you start a chant. They support their team, their club and their town, and they shake hands with you at the end and wish you all the best – as it should be.

In the second period Grimmy got weaving; Darius was always weaving; Lozzy-T and Rossi were bossing; Keel and Edge were solidity personified, and everyone else was simply ace! We scored a second thanks to Grimmy’s cross and Lewis Walters’ fine finish, then despite a bit of an onslaught from Colne looking for an equaliser, we held out manfully to claim the three points to take us to SECOND IN THE LEAGUE and post-match dreams of what we might do if we win promotion – Glinks especially was dreaming about what he might do if that happens…...

We headed home singing Jingle Bells (“..…Trafford win away!”) and despite the warnings about the near-disaster that occurred on the way home from Kendal, Colin the Plank became increasingly desperate and we had to stop down some dodgy country lane for him to take a leak. The rest of my passengers soon joined him, as did a couple of horses who wandered over to see what was going on!

We all agreed that midweek away games are the funniest trips EVER!

Thank you and good night (Muggsy)