Away day - Hanley Town 06.01.23

I wasn't originally going to attend this game: 1) I'd been out a lot the past couple of weeks and 2) I promised the wife earlier in the week I'd spend the day with her. However, after cooking an absolute delightful meal of homemade tapas on the evening before the game, I knew I'd scored some brownie points. I dropped the idea of going after pouring her another cocktail and the response was surprisingly positive. Hanley was on. Plus, there's the bet I have with Blackbeard on who attends the most away games this season - I knew he wasn't able to attend so the the prospect of stretching my lead was too much to turn down. 

Having messaged Direktor Mugger, a lift was secured. Plans to get picked up at 13:00 hours were arranged to get us there in plenty of time. However, it turned out there was a crash/accident on the M6 at some point throughout the night/early morning, so we were prepared for alternative routes and a longer journey. A ping on my phone from Mugger saying it might be more like 13:10, gave me the opportunity to sneak in a quick bottle whilst I waited.

This is what a sneaky bottle looks like.

Mugger and Mugger Jnr picked me up and then the Burke and his Jnr before we set off to Hanley. We knew there were traffic jams on the M6 but we hadn't even been going 2 minutes before our planned route of going down Carrington Lane was kiboshed by horrendous traffic. We ignored the satnav and headed through Partington. We joined the M6 and within seconds, the Direktor's car informed him he was out of oil. Better safe than sorry, we stopped at the next services, which were only a mile away. 

30-odd squids later, and the car was once again lubricated.

Back on the motorway, we had to leave the M6 earlier than we otherwise would due the said accident, and the next hour or so was nothing short of horrific: country lanes, pot-holes galore, stuck in traffic and little room in the back. I was starting to feel queasy. What felt like a life-time later, we arrived. We drove past captain of the YoT parking his car on a grass verge. I shouted through the window at him. "You can't park it there." He would probably wish he hadn't.

The car journey: the view wasn't bad to be fair

I don't normally get food at football grounds, but considering the effects of the car journey, I needed something to settle my stomach. Without wanting to step on the toes of the wonderful bearded ones, here's a quick review: They didn't have much choice - it was either a burger, a cheeseburger or a double one of the previously mentioned. Chips were also on offer. I went for a burger and chips. Bang average. The bun was a bit hard and the burger no flavour. They fulfilled the task of sorting my stomach out though, so not all bad. However, captain of the YoT was tucking into his double cheeseburger behind me and commented that his was the best food he's ever had at a football ground. I came to the conclusion he was severely hungover.

The game: The first half was non-eventful other than a Hanley goal. They probably just deserved the lead. The second half started with it being all Trafford, without causing their goalkeeper many problems - although he did end up with a bloody nose after the bobbly pitch played a pass-back straight into his mush. Ouch! 

Then a moment of pure, exquisite beauty. The ball was played to the back post from the Trafford left to right, the ball seemed to be in the air for an age, and when I asked the player about it after the game, he said he was conflicted between bringing the ball down out of the air first before firing in a shot or whether to take a shot first time, Then there was the defender who was just a yard away; if he manages to get a flick on it, it'll take it away from me! All this within a second - I told you it felt like an age. By the time the ball arrived at the boot of Sean 'I've had a bet with Liam Maguire, that if I don't score a goal this season, I'll get a tattoo of the YoT on my arse, but if I do, then he'll get my name on HIS arse' Higgins, he just hit it instinctively on the volley. The ball zipped off the surface as if it was a cricket ball that had just been stroked by an at-his-peak Sachin Tendulkar for 4. It hit the back of the net to the sounds of adulation and manic screaming! Higgins and the players celebrated with the fans before he turned and faced Liam, pointed at him and slapped his arse! Get that tattooist booked, Liam!

The game finished 1-1 and that's now 6 unbeaten for the Trafford FC. We are definitely on the up and what's even more obvious, is that the players really seem to be bonding and clicking.

A quick pint whilst the Direktor interviewed Margy and Sean Higgins, and we made our way to the car, where we discovered a whole bunch of cars stuck on the grass verge, including one of our players and our supporters. In typical TFC fashion, people pulled together, and car-by-car, everyone was free.

Supporters helping each other in the mud! What a group!

Luckily, the journey home was much quicker and more pleasant than the one there, minus some of the potholes Mugger had to swerve and including one he didn't. It seems that not only were todays teams evenly matched, but both Hanley and Trafford are equal when it comes to quality of road surface too.