21 Questions With... Matty Bryan

Name: Matty Bryan
Age: 29
Trafford F.C. appearances: 24
Trafford goals: 6
Trafford Debut: August 18th 2018 v Prescott Cables

Matty Bryan is a 29 year old forward/left back/wing-back. Previously of Bacup, he signed for Trafford F.C. during the pre-season of 2018/19.

Matty Bryan

1. Having tried to do some research on you, I've struggled to find much about your footballing past (other than that you were at Bacup for 6 seasons). Can you provide us with more background?
Yeah you won’t find much about me, basically I’ve only ever been at Bacup. I cant even brag and say I was somewhere as a kid because I wasn’t. I got on the school football team though.

2. You were Bacup's player of the year last season and there was a lot of demand for you as a result. What in the end made you choose Trafford? 
And the leagues player of the season (just to add). Yeah there was a lot of interest but with Trafford it seemed like a genuine club and it didn’t seem like they were lying with what they were promising me, and they also didn’t peck my head; they left me to make a decision. The manager and assistant helped and their ambition was something I wanted to be part of. The pitch and the fan base played a big factor also. Overall it seemed the best choice to make.

3. You seem to have settled into the team nicely, was it a difficult/easy transition having come from NWCFL Division 1? 
Yes, I had a bit of a tricky start, I struggled to find my feet but I think as the weeks have gone on I’ve settled and feel like I’ve adjusted to how I need to be now.

4. What are the main differences you've noticed in the levels between NWC and Evostick? 
Ermm the defenders are a bit more clever for a start, if they see that you like to get in behind they drop a little and stuff like that. Not to knock the NWC but more football is played at this level, as to be expected. I think we play some great football and it must be good to watch when it’s working. Most players are in good nick too!
5. Obviously you were signed as a forward and played there at Bacup; you did however inform us all during your singing initiation that you are actually a left back. How did you come to play as a forward in the first place? 
Wish I didn't say anything now! It was Burnsys fault, he told me to say it. Clever of him really when I look back, getting rid of the competition.  It was only last season that I
started as a forward really. I tried it the season before playing with my mates and it seemed to work then I went back to Bacup and said that
I’d prefer to play as a forward, the manager gave me a try up there and I was there ever since.

6. Since you announced you were really a left back, you have mainly been picked there (or left-wing back). You do seem a natural and your pace appears to be more of a weapon. How do you feel
playing there and do you have a preference? 
I do prefer playing as a forward. I think when I was playing up there I was finding my feet and playing like a donkey so that didn’t help. The manager has seen something in me from wing back/left back so if it’s working and it’s good for the team I’m happy to keep playing there.

7. Tom (Baker) is clearly ambitious and determined. How much does that reflect onto the players? 
Yeah massively, the gaffer works hard with us on and off the pitch, everybody has got great respect for him and we know what he wants from us as a team, and I don’t think we are far away from that.

8. You are rapid. How quick can you run 100m? 
I wouldn’t have a clue you know. I’ll get Jake to time me in training and Tom can say on your marks, get set, go! (give him a little role). What time you going for? Under 12 seconds?
I reckon you'd do well to go under 12 seconds. I sense a bet coming?

9. The fan's took to your style of play immediately and as a result tried coming up with a chant in your honour (settling on one and rejecting another.) Did Bacup ever have any catchy chants about you we could steal? 
No never had a chant really. Felt like I’d made it
when I first heard my name in a chant at Trafford.

10. Speaking of the rejected song; one of our supporters did come up with a Cliff Richard inspired song about your good self (based on 'Living Doll'). He's tried singing it a few times... Have you heard the song and if so, thoughts on it? 
Yeah I’ve heard that one. I liked the running, running, running one, but you sing whatever you feels best after a few beers.

11. Despite trying to erase it from my memory, I've got to talk about Newcastle away; what was the dressing room like after that game?
Everybody was gutted and in a little bit of shock really. We were excellent for 70 minutes and the last 20 was a complete reverse of that. Footballs like that sometimes, but we still should have come off that field with 3 points.

12. Outside of Trafford, what does Matty Bryan get up to? 
I do a lot of coaching and suppose I spend time with friends and family. Pretty boring life to be fair. I don't go out like I used to, although football night out Saturday after the 3 points.

13. Football team you support? 
Manchester United - moving on!

14. Sporting Hero? 
Eric Cantona, loved his arrogance.

15. Best player you've played with? 
Never been anywhere have I and I can't say one of the lads. Don’t like to single people out like that and don’t want them getting a big head but there are some very good players in this current team.

16. And against? 
There was a good player a few weeks ago... cant remember his name.

17. Burnsy has now missed 2 of his last 3 penalties, with his last one still rising. Is he still going to be on them and where do you rank in the pecking order? 
Got to be up there now haven’t I? I've
bagged 2 out of 2 in shootouts this season. But those were his first 2 penalty misses since birth so he’ll be putting the next one in the back of the net.

18. We've found ourselves in a couple of penalty shoot outs this season, winning both and taking some smart pens in the process; who though is the last one you want stepping up? 
Curtis was doing everything in his power to not take one in the last shootout, I think the keeper was stepping up before him, so he must be bad at them.

19. You've made 24 appearances already this season (more than any other Trafford player). How important do you think it is to train right and look after yourself in between matches to be able to sustain your performances over a season? 
Nice little stat, I’ll tell my mates that one when they give me grief for playing left back. Yeah its very important, we all train very hard and recover properly so that helps and no game is easy in this league so you’ve got to be at it every game.

20. You started the season off wearing an alice band, did that bring a bit of stick and has it now been dumped? 
I was trying to be a bit edgy and grow my hair but it just wasn’t me. Wasn’t a good first impression of myself turning up in one of those so the hair had to go.

21. Who is your nomination for the next 21 Questions With? 
Hat trick hero, Darius!

Superb Matty... good luck for the rest of the season!

Glinks

Away Day - Droylsden League Cup 4.12.18

THE MONTH of Christmas kicked off with our Heroes at home (v Droylsden) followed immediately by the Supporters Club Curry Night. Squeeze into that a Man United match, add the Wilder Fury fight at 4am, and Saturday 1^st to Sunday 2^nd of December was a real test…..

So by Tuesday, with doghouses still occupied and livers still filtering the alcohol, it was proving hard to find a decent number of fit and capable Trafford Army members to make the journey to Droylsden.
There were certainly no buses heading to the East, so I climbed into a car which contained just one other person plus a load of junk for the Tip. Sniffer was that other person and he was my driver. I, like god, was his co-pilot, and off we set round the M60 Orbital in an anti-clockwise direction (wondering if we drive fast enough, would we overtake time and thus travel back in time? One for another time…...)
We decided “en route” (as they say in France) that tonight would be “dry”. One of us was driving anyway, so the other one would espouse this sacrifice and go sober too. And besides, our livers deserved it after the escapades of just 2-3 days ago.
On arrival, we paid our 8 quid. You always hand over a tenner don’t you? They always take your two quid change don’t they? You always end up with a programme you don’t read, or raffle tickets that don’t win, don’t you…..? Yes, you do.
And after parting with 20 quid between us…… Foxxy told us we were on the guest list! Someone was supposed to have informed us of this before we came in. Thanks M.B……..
The second thing we had decided “en route” (as they say in the French speaking parts of Canada) was to take up a vantage point alongside the action for this game. Get a new angle on the mighty Trafford machine. We stood by the perimeter wall just to one side of the half way line, with Foxxxxxy and Adey on one side of us, the Trafford dugout on the other, and the SC flag in front, draped over the wall.
And so to the game. We had our SEVENTH keeper of the season between the sticks – Danny Whiting from Cheadle Town. The young lad made a quality save early on to reassure everyone he was more than capable of doing the job, and upon this confidence Trafford started building a great team performance. Amongst many quality individual endeavours, Matty Bryan was incredible – pace and sharpness up and down the left flank, it was like having a left back, left midfield AND left winger all wearing No.3. His crosses were excellent and chances were being created with frightening regularity (frightening for Droylsden). The Yellow Machine should have been 2-0 up by the half hour mark. BUT as so often happens in the funny old game of football, Droylsden’s No.11 Caddick swept home a cross against the run of play to put The Bloods 1-0 at half time.
I always love half time entertainment – you know, cheerleaders, penalty shootouts, inflatable chickens, Burnsy / Langy / Jimmy smashing shots against the roof of the Pigeon End stand……
Very early in the second half, Trafford left back Matty Bryan won the ball and fed left midfielder Matty Bryan. Composed, he sent a sniper accurate ball down the flank for winger Matty Bryan, who sprinted onto it faster than Matty Bryan, then sent a cross over which flew into the back of the net for an equaliser. Well done to the Trafford striker Matty Bryan!
The Referee then started getting on our nerves, him being an “egg”. Rydings-Rydings was pushed in the back, but the man in black shellsuit (geddit?) gave nothing. Play immediately hatched into a Droylsden half chance that hit the post and the ball was laid on a plate to be slotted home to make it make it 2-1. The Liner then joined in the “let’s-annoy-Trafford” theme by flagging everything in yellow offside. GPO vans, road cones, grit bins, lemons, bananas, little chicks….. and a Matty Bryan equaliser. The boys were still creating chances and to be fair to Droy, they were very much in the game too. Burnsy had come on as a sub for Danny Wilkins, and the Skipper slid a chance into the back of the net to make it 2-2, YESSSSS!
Trafford were pressing for the winner in the final moments. The excitement was unbearable. Foxxxxxxxxxxy dropped his pen over the wall and onto the pitch. Gibbo rescued it for him though, just as it went to Penners…….
We then saw something never seen before – A Burns penalty MISS! He hit the POST! Droylsden scored their first so they were in the driving seat. Harry Winter netted for Trafford, then our Agency Keep Danny SAVED the next Droy spotshot!!! Trafford in the driving seat now, Droylsden following on….. We kept scoring…… Darius, Ben, Matty……. so did they….. We then saw something never seen before – A Langford penalty SCORED! (we hadn’t been confident, watching his half time shots!) and so it continued…… Declan, Ally Brown, Ross….. all scored….. and so did they. It was 7-7 when Droylsden’s Dylan Smith stepped up….. and Danny Whiting made his 2^nd penalty save of the night to send Trafford through to the Quarter Finals! Allez Allez Allez!
Me and Sniffer finished our cups of tea, Harry Winter shook our hands & said “thanks for coming lads” (TOP man!) and we said our farewells and headed back round the M60 in a clockwise direction, arriving home before we’d left...

(Blog by Emmett Brown)

21 Questions Withh... Mark Derbyshire

Name: Mark Derbyshire

Age: 24

Trafford F.C. appearances: 102

Trafford F.C. Goals: 29

Trafford Debut: 11th January 2014 v Worksop Town

Mark Derbyshire is without doubt a fans favourite. 'He's one of our own' and 'Who need's Ronaldo...' are frequently chanted when he's playing (or warming up). He has been at Trafford for nearly 5 years now, and is currently a one-club player- we hope that continues.

Mark 'Daarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrboooooooooooooo' Derbyshire

1. You've been at Trafford since 2014. How did that come about and where were you playing before then?

Yeah its been a while; Trafford used to have a Sunday team so I was playing for them with a few local lads that I knew. The first team was short of players at the time due to injury so I ended up going down to train and it just went from there really.

2. You seem more confident as a player these days, both on the pitch and as part of the dressing room. Is that a fare assessment and what do you put it down to?I would agree with that, obviously the more you play the more you grow as a player and as a member of the team. When I first started playing for Trafford I would say that I was still a kid and I've grown up quite a lot since I started playing.

3. Who has helped develop your game over the last few years?

Without blowing his trumpet, Burnsey has helped my game over the past few years, I picked things up playing with Deano last year and working with Chris Shuker a few seasons ago helped massively. As a coach he's the best one I've worked with.

4. If you were to liken yourself to a professional footballer, who would it be?

Zizou 

(I presume he means Zidane... must be the bald head!!)

5. I've never seen you with hair. Can you grow your hair, if so what style would you have?

Nope. My hairline has gone so the bald head is here for life. But if I had hair it would be a simple 1 back and sides with a little trim on top. No messing around with stupid top knot or fades.

6. Did you play any other sports growing up, basketball surely?

Believe it or not I can't play basketball to save my life, I tried it at school but never liked it. I used to play cricket down at Flixton cricket club for several years when the football season finished. I used to be a handy batsmen - top score of 199*

7. Who is the best drinker at Trafford?

It used to be Paul Linwood but Kiel O'Brien can have the title now, I've never seen a man drink so many pints in one day.

8. And the most fun on a night out?

Theres a few to be fair. Once some of the lads get a few beers in the system there is no stopping them. Jack Dorney usually comes out with some good stuff on a night out.

9. Whose the best player you've played with at Trafford?

For a fat lad Liam Brownhill was technically very good.

10. You are a massive fans favourite and you play for your home town club. How important are those factors when you pull on the shirt?

Its always nice to know that people are supporting you when you play, being one of the local lads, its been a pleasure getting to know most of you over the years. I also have to take this opportunity to thank Malc (Malcy Rock 'n' Roll) for my song.

11. Ross Davidson did the floss after scoring on Saturday against Widnes. How much stick has he taken for that and do you have any moves lined up for when you next score?

The lads took appropriate action against him and he has subsequently been fined, hes a grown man and is five months behind the times as well. No I haven't got anything planned - I need to put one in the back of the net first but Burnsey is always on at me to get a celebration, so I just copy his daft one if i'm struggling.

12. Best/most important goal you've scored for Trafford?

My favourite goal is either the left peg against Tadcaster away a few seasons ago or the header against Ramsbottom last season.

13. Who has had the biggest players fine off Burnsy and what for?

A few of the lads didn't sing when they first joined because they're arses fell out so they got hit big and a few haven't turned up for nights out so they got hit with £50 fines 

14. How much are you looking forward to Portugal (even with some fans possibly gatecrashing haha)?

Massively, I cant wait to hear Keil calling the seagulls; it gets me everytime. If you lot are coming then you'll have to keep up with the lads and get in the gym. Some of the boys have a right go.

15. During the Manchester Derby, the commentator described City as artists and United as painters and decorators. How would you describe Trafford?

Is this the derby where City  didn't get out of 2nd gear and wiped the floor with united?

16. Who would win a race out of all the players and who'd come last?

I used to hold this title but Matty Bryan will win hands down; the man is quick. Slowest is probably Ben Harrison or Sam Heathcote - both not the quickest.

17. We're getting a decent reputation for our support, especially away from home. How big an impact does it have on the players and which game has our support stood out for you?

Yeah its massive for us, the last away day at Colne; the support was unreal but the last week of last season was the best that I've seen it. The fans turned up in their numbers Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Tuesday. I remember being stood with the fans after getting sent off against FC and hearing you all out sing them! I also remember the coach journey back from Colwyn Bay - all of you slightly worse for wears.

18. Any hidden talents?

Its not a good talent but I manage to bang my head on anything and everything. The lads know a good story.

19. Favourite sports person?

Lionel Messi - never seems to moan and performs week in week out. Would have loved to have seen him play his whole career with Pep as his manager.

20. Worse away ground?

Goole - Shithole

21. Who are you nominating for 21 Questions With...?

Matty Bryan

POTM October - Aaron Burns

Before Saturday's 1-1 draw with Widnes, Aaron Burns was presented with his @BowlandBreweries POTM award by young supporter Cojo.

21 Questions With... Andy Langford

Name: Andy Langford
Age: 30
Trafford F.C. Appearances: 127
Trafford F.C. Goals: 6
Trafford Debut: 28th November 2015 (v Farsley away)

Andy Langford is Trafford F.C.'s Mr. Reliable. He can play in centre midfield or defence, where he played most of the 2017/18 season, winning the Manager's Player of the Season Award. Previous clubs include Morecombe, Fleetwood, Droylsden and Stalybridge Celtic.

Andy Langford

1. You're a hard man to get hold of... you don't get involved with social media. Why not and have you ever been tempted?
I've never been tempted. Means I can dodge people like you trying to question me 😂 plus you can get yourself into a lot of trouble on there - I've known a few lads to be flapping on a Sunday morning. Not me though👀. Best to stay out the way.

2. You seem to be the quiet man about the place, does that role suit you - going about your business without all the attention?
Yeah generally I have always been quiet, it's best to go and do your job quietly. I think I sneak under the radar ,no need for shouting or screaming or silly knee slides - just do what I'm there to do... on and off the pitch.

3. You've personally been a favourite of mine since you arrived and I, along with others, were gutted when you left Trafford at the end of the season 16-17. You came back quite soon into the next season? What were your thoughts/reasons behind the moves?
The main reason I left was that I was offered a really good deal to go elsewhere and at the time I thought that would be the right decision, however 6 weeks into the new season I had realised it was the wrong decision in many ways... the gaffer and coaching staff here, the fans at the club and the lads - in fact everything about the club makes it a special and enjoyable place to play football and I think that is noticeable in the top quality players that have been attracted here.

4. Obviously the supporters were delighted to see you (and Burns) return. How good do you think last season went, both personally (picking up manager's POTY) and as a team?
Last season, when me and Burns came back the team seemed to be struggling. I don't think we had won a game which was surprising given some of the players we had in the squad but I think once the gaffer found a system that worked with the players, things turned around. For me personally I was just happy to be back enjoying it which I think showed in my performances and then to pick up the managers player of the year at the end of the season was great, especially considering some of the other players such as Sephton, Shents, Ally and Keil - they all had really good seasons. It would be good to see where we finished had we started the season like we finished it, but ultimately I think as a group we feel we didn't do ourselves justice in the play offs and are determined to go one better and get promotion this year.

5. And what can this team achieve this this season?
No doubt with the ability we have got in the squad we have to look at winning the league. We had a rocky start but seemed to have turned a corner and have the top few in our sights, there is no reason we can't win it.

6. We seem to have developed a knack of scoring quite late on. What do you put that down to?
The gaffer running our spuds off at every astro with in a couple of miles of his house.😂. No... it's down to belief, most games this season we have dominated with the ball and been really defensively sound so we know as the game goes on we will get more and more chances and one of the lads up top will pull something out the bag for us.

7. You spent a lot of last season playing in the back three. Do you you have a preference as to where you'd rather play?
If I were to pick -  I like to play in the middle but I will play anywhere that I am needed or anywhere the gaffer asks, other than maybe left back -  I only played there once and was dragged after 27 minutes. I don't know if you have noticed but flying up and down the wing and running fast isn't a strong point of mine😂.

8. What's been your biggest achievement in football?
Definitely promotion from conference to league 2. I was gutted not to be involved in the play off final at Wembley and I couldn't see past that for a long time but I was only 18 at the time so I can look back on it now with positivity... I played quite a lot more 1st team football than expected at that age that season.

9. And where would getting promotion with Trafford rank?
It would be massive for the club and for myself personally, it feels great to be promoted for any club but Trafford is where I was born and brought up so that would be great.

10. Outside of Trafford, what does Andy Langford get up to?
Now that we train 3 or 4 times a week👀... mainly work. If i'm not with my daughter you will probably find me looking after Darbo in champs.

11. Football team you support?
Everton... my dad supported them so naturally I wasn't allowed to support anybody else.

12. Other sports you follow?
None... not catching me watching cricket or the egg chasers. Only thing I watch is maybe the boxing and that'll be only i'm out with the lads.

13. Best sportsman/woman that has ever existed?
Zidane. Best player I have seen. Never looked flustered (other than the headbutt). Won everything he ever played in.

14. Best player you've played with?
Michael Twiss (ex Man United) had so much ability and was so strong. Seen him win games on his own many times.

15. And against?
Billy Sharp - played against him against Sheff Utd and we weren't too different in age but I got nowhere near him. We got beat 5-0 and he scored 4.

16. Do you have a favourite away ground?
No, not really, just like playing at home... I can think of plenty I don't like going too. Although last season I quite liked Tadcaster and South shields.

17. You seem a pretty cool customer... do you ever get flustered/stressed? (If so, what causes it)?
I don't see the point in getting flustered, on the pitch you will probably see me smiling and laughing more than stressing or shouting. The only person I do like giving stick to is the ref.

18. We had a song that only really works when you wear the number 4... any chance you can put dibs on that shirt please? (When selected obviously) haha
I always want to wear 4. For a start it's a large and the 8 is xl! Have a word with the gaffer - fits me better and goes with the song. Win win.

19. On a serious note, how big an influence is the crowd, especially in tight games?
Massive! When we are turning up to horrible grounds, of which there are many, on dark, cold Tuesday nights and there is a load of fans there cheering you on it's a massive boost. The songs and chants have even started making more of an appearance at home games this year, keep them going because on a serious not it does keep the lads going. Our fans are great whether we are winning 5-0 or losing 5-0! You are always in great voice.

20. Favourite game you've been involved in with Trafford?
I have a couple last year: Colwyn Bay part 2 was a great night. The draw pretty much confirmed us in play offs and the coach journey home was the best I have ever been on. Also the cup final we had a handful of fans there compared to FC United but you out sung them all night and the gaffer put a lot of faith in the younger lads that had got us to the final and they rewarded him by performing just as well as the fans.

21. Your nomination for the next 21 Questions With...?
It can only be one man - our kid... the BFG Darbo.

Thanks to Andy for (finally) answering the 21 questions. A top player and bloke. Good luck for the rest of the season.

Glinks. 

Away Day - Ashton United FA CUP

Fans Blog – Ashton United away, FA Cup qualifier, 22^nd September 2018

So for this one, we tried a new feature for the official Supporters Clubs away trips – Open the Shawe View clubhouse for a couple of hours of boozing and doing Lines* before we even get on the coach! Risky stuff…… but more about that later…….

We should have had a forewarning of what was to come when one member of the S.C who shall remain shrouded in a cloak of anonymity (but his initials are M.J) got a straight red and a 3-day ban for posting the wrong thing on the wrong WhatsApp group (#familyclub).

When I arrived at the FPSVS, the clubhouse was resplendently bedecked with the new T.F.C.S.C flag featuring the Manchester Bee, the year 1990…. and not enough full stops. When the bacon butties turned up there wasn’t enough of them either. Meanwhile a game of Killer Darts was underway that no one seemed to know the rules of……

In the clubhouse, lots of Lines* were being done including someone who did about 8 soggy Lines* on the table with beer spilt all over it. 

At half one there was a mass exodus for the bus…. which was no where to be seen. We hung around on Flixton Road, all 49 of us like extras from “The Football Factory” trying to dodge the onrushing O.B when just in time The Big White Jonesy arrived and we boarded in good spirits, ready for a trip across to the Eastside of Manchester. The bus had a toilet, and a few more Lines* were done then choir practice commenced with a well-rehearsed “Ole Ole Ole!” and some new songs attempted.  “Viva Aaron Burns”, “Super Cooper”, “Sweet Caldicott” and “Got myself a crying walking sleepin’ talkin’ Matty Bryan……” well, three hit songs from four isn’t bad...

On arrival at Ashton, we piled into the Hurst Cross clubhouse to smash down a few quick glasses of beer and do a few more Lines* before the game. We’d been led to believe that you couldn’t take beer onto the terraces for this game because (1) Ashton Utd are in the Conference North, and (2) this was an FA Cup game. This myth was debunked however, and we were able to keep ourselves well stocked with plastic containers of Kronenburg throughout the 90 minutes.

The game was a close affair and the boys who play in… er… yellow today, were more than matching the boys from two steps above us in the Football Pyramid. But then, around the 30^th minute it went the shape of a deformed pear when Matt Mahoney gave away a penalty and we went a goal behind. A few moments later M.M totalled one of their players and received the O.B.E (Order of the Bath, Early). From then on it got tough, but our heroes worked to stay in the game until the last ten minutes when tiredness saw Ashton bag two late goals for the 3—0 win. Off the pitch, our singing performance was second to none, and we even managed to poke a bit of fun at the Ashton fans for the bus stop / smoking shelter / bike rack structure at their end of the ground. Any attempts to sing the Adams Family song were sssshhhh’d quite vociferously by our own self-policing supporters (#familyclub). 

After a few more post-match glasses and some great clubhouse singing (how’s about “Sephton, he’s no longer in our team!”) we boarded the bus to take us home. There was, we have to admit, an element of uncontrollable lunacy on the journey home. Some singing of the Chrissy Palmer song with the banned lyrics; Some failed aisle-dancing; And some failed belt/braces disasters…… we can only apologise to those women and children who were present (#familyclub)

A further outrageous crime was committed when it became apparent with each passing motorway junction, that we were not going to be taking the M60 to Urmston – we were going directly to Town, not passing Go, and certainly not collecting £200! Chairman Glinks was flexing all of his Putin-esque democratic leader muscles to obtain for himself a ride directly to Manchester city centre! This resulted in the coach making it back to Urmston approximately 4 hours and 27 minutes later than it should have done.

As is usual on these kind of trips, I cannot remember getting off the bus or arriving home, but I do remember waking up at 3am in the bathroom asleep in the shower cubicle.

*P.S “Lines” refers to the Trafford FC Supporters Club results sweepstake a.k.a “Trafford Lines” whereby you predict the result of certain football matches that day, and the winner gets a Pot which is growing week-by-week. Nothing to do with the old Hokey-Cokey (#familyclub #gambleaware.co.uk #whenthefunstopsstop)

(Blog by Hugo Drax)

Trafford on Tour - Lancaster City. FA Cup 08.09.18

It was a busy morning (for me) in the Glinka household; a cooked breakfast, cleaning the bathroom and picking up the babysitter (which would allow us to behave like irresponsible teenagers for the day). All the above was duly done before 10:30. After a leisurely walk and quick pit-stop to purchase the obligatory pack of Doritos, we arrived at the Bird just after 11, where we were greeted by a couple of dedicated supporters (p**s cans) who were already nursing a pint. After doing a couple of lines, it was time to board the coach, not before grabbing some extra strong coffee* to wake us up. 

I knew it would be a good day as Andy opened up his ruck-sack in the Bird to proudly reveal a litre bottle of Jagermeister! When asked what the frig he was doing, he explained that he was buying into my positive thinking - which previously had been dismissed as "a load of rubbish". He had already visualised Trafford winning and the Jagermeister was to share as a celebration on the way home.  -Helen.

Enjoying the strong coffee*

The coffee* option was proving popular

After getting most of the coach to do a few lines, everyone was now in good spirits (nowt to do with having a sip of my coffee*). Upon arrival in Lancaster, we were treated to a tour of the city's one way system before finally being dropped off at one of the local pubs (Merchant's 1688). After a mad dash to the toilet, some real ales were downed, one titled 'Tactical Daydreams', which was another lucky omen for what was to follow apparently, along with prosecco and strawberries. It was a cracking pub with a great atmosphere and lots of banter. I hear they do a lovely homemade Rhubarb Gin 😊 The only downer was that Tom couldn't find a chippy in order to have his ritual away day fish! As a result he is now boycotting the place!

The coffee* was taking its toll

Whatever Helen is showing Paul, he looks happy

After a short walk, we found ourselves outside the ground where Paul tried and succeeded in getting Helen in as a junior (she's forty bloody two!) haha. Now this was not big, nor clever so obviously we went back afterwards and paid the full, adult fair... actually we paid twice as Cappy had already paid the full fair without us knowing (I hope he didn't use his precious coin collection).

More alcohol was consumed and some blokes in yellow kicked a ball about rather nicely. We were in good voice and we even remembered to sing happy birthday to Darbo, although I'm not sure whether or not he could hear us though as he lay motionless on the deck with a busted eye! Darbo loves playing in Lancaster!

Happy birthday Darrrrrrrrrbo

By this point, those blokes in yellow were kicking (and heading) the ball so well, we'd managed to get ourselves 1 nil up, and well deserved. The half flew by with the aid of more alcohol and a rather lovely steak pie, chips, peas and gravy combo. The 2nd half began, and as with the players, us supporters switched ends. It didn't affect matters either on the pitch or off it. Lots of singing was drunkenly performed and there was even a sing off with the train crew, who I'd not met before but are a top set of lads. Lots more quality kicking of that ball by the team in yellow meant a fantastic 2 nil win! Brown and Burns with the final touches to two world class moves.

2nd half support

The emotion of the win is perfectly summed up by Cappy

The proof that we'd won!

Back in the club house and everyone was buzzing, one or four more cans were consumed and I was alerted that young Max (one of Liam's gang) had got all the lines correct and was only waiting on one result to win £75. That result was for an England win. Silly boy! The players proudly, and rightly so came and joined in with the celebrations and player of the day was duly announced to Keven O'Brien. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten to go out and buy a novelty prize so Neil had to make do with a bottle of beer.

Now I'll be honest here... the rest of the evening is a bit hazy. Obviously the Jagermeister took a beating and for some reason it's affected my memory. I think I told Langy he was next up for '21 Questions With...' I can't remember how I arranged this to be done what with him being a dinosaur and not on any social media. There was definitely some initiation singing by the new lads and Lozzy T What's For Tea because my phone provided me with the evidence the next day. Even our very own Cappy had done one - a hilarious version of 'Common People' by Pulp. Believe me, it's cracking.

The coach home, where I look a bit worse for wear

After we got back to Urmston, more beer was consumed in the Bird, I was comparing lankyness with the player of the day, and after that... my brain remembers nothing and Helen was even worse!

The lankyness prize clearly being won by Kyle.

I woke up surrounded by someone else's scarf (again), a half eaten burger - that I do not remember buying - and a massive wedge of chocolate cake. I sifted through my phone, looking at pictures and video's to try and help fill in the gaps. I was reminded that yesterday was not a good day. It was a great day.

Cheers Trafford

Glinks

*Whilst it was defintely 100% coffee that we were drinking, it might have tasted slightly different to your usual brew.

Thanks to Peter Bellis for the splendid black and white photos and well done on winning 20 notes on Lancaster's raffle. See you on Tuesday Pete, there might even be others that turn up this time too.